You are there

I miss you amid the noise
And in the silence.

I cannot sleep the nights
My head is on my pillow
But I am restless
And scared
I am very scared of falling asleep
As if death is all that awaits me in my dreams
As if unconsciousness will devour every last piece of me
And I would never have been.

And
I cannot survive the days
Hours pass
Like seconds
Wasted
And lonely
My body is exhausted
My brain is broken.

~

You are there
In everything I do
And do not do.

You are there
In every sigh
And every spoken word
And every face I see.

I do not speak lots of words
I do not see lots of faces.

Yet
You are there.