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Deviant for 4 Months
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Literature
I fell for the dark side of you.
I fell for the dark side
of you
Slowly
Throughout the years.
I do not know today
If I gave you a part of my heart
Or if you took it
Back then.
Back then
When we were growing
Simpler
And into the same shape.
We must have crossed paths
At some point
I didn't see
Or feel.
Adrift
We were then
Apart
We grew.
And still we grow
Only now
Things are simpler for you
And more complicated for me.
I do not envy you
Any more than I ever did
I do not discard your pain
Or value.
But today
The gloom around you faded
The sorrow in your eyes
Invisible.
I still feel the dark pull
Of your mind
Wavering
But never stronger for me.
It calls me
And this is where I stop
Every time
I wish I can tell you.
I think you realize
How much you affect me
That I care
And fear.
But do you realize
You are at once
Chaining me forever
And yelling at me to get out?
It took me years
I know what I want
You do
But you do not want to.
I do not blame you
Or hate you for it
Still
I wish.
I fell for the dark side
Of you
You fell out
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 3 3
Literature
I
Fear
Alongside anticipation
I do not hurt
Believe me
Of life
Or death?
I exist in two bodies
And a leaping soul
Black
Black
Farewell my good will
I forgot my sanity
I forgot my name
But my sins are pure.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 6 5
Literature
Heartbreak.
The tiniest flicker of hope
Is gone
Tonight I know
The bright days to come
Will never come
The dream I dared have for a while
Evaporated
Like a mist
On an late morning would
He would never know
I did not plan on telling him
Still
He would never know
That my heart once called for him
And skipped many a beat
That a time existed
When I lived in hope
Just to see him
And a star shined one night
Waiting
For him to love me

But
Tonight I know
He will never be mine.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 9 8
Literature
Hey you.

Hey you.

I miss you, you know.
I think of you every day.
I picture you beside me.
I want you.
And, I think I need you.
 
If only I can read what is inside your head
And see from behind your eyes.
 
If only I can lean in
And feel your heartbeats against me.
 
If only you would let me.
 
Why do I want something I never had?
Oh but,
Is this not an answer itself?
 
Hey you.
I am slowly losing my sanity.
I am slowly dying without you.
 
 
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 10 16
Literature
You are there
I miss you amid the noise
And in the silence.
I cannot sleep the nights
My head is on my pillow
But I am restless
And scared
I am very scared of falling asleep
As if death is all that awaits me in my dreams
As if unconsciousness will devour every last piece of me
And I would never have been.
And
I cannot survive the days
Hours pass
Like seconds
Wasted
And lonely
My body is exhausted
My brain is broken.
~
You are there
In everything I do
And do not do.
You are there
In every sigh
And every spoken word
And every face I see.
I do not speak lots of words
I do not see lots of faces.
Yet
You are there.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 9 4
Literature
Why Then?
Are you not really my friend?
Why then do I need to find an excuse to talk to you?
Why then do I think about my words before I speak them?
Why then is it hard for me to seek you out?
Why then is it the easiest thing as well?
Why then do I wish to see you every day?
Why then do I miss you the most at night?
Why then can I not tell you all my secrets?
Why then can I not tell you I love you?
Are you not really my friend?
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 14 9
Literature
Mortuus
This winter, I died with the nature.
I was buried under the snow,
And swept off with the wind.
The land is green.
There are flowers
Already blossoming on the almond tree
And small oranges on the orange tree
Outside my house.
But I am not revived.
This winter, I died with the nature.
But in the spring, I was not revived.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 18 20
Literature
First Hour.
Suddenly I was missing my first hour,
that exact time I was born into this earth,
that exact moment I took in the first breath.
I don't think I've ever hated my life more than now,
but I've never loved that hour more.
It is the closest I've been to death afterall.
It is the nearest place I've been to that I most want now.
It is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me.
Nothing comes even close.
I've only since grown more helpless, bound, uglier and certainly farther from non-existence.
What is the point?
Does God please with seeing us suffering because of others, from others.
What is physical pain compared to the hurt we feel inside? 
What are bruises on our bodies compared to the bleeding of our hearts? 
What are tears compared to the fading of our souls? 
What are screams compared to the sound of our shattering selves?
What is the point to continue with all these together?
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 7 5
Literature
Dance.
Eyes closed
She feels the beats inside her
The music loud.
She starts to move
Swaying her body
In every direction she knows
She never learned to dance
But cares not
The night is a good hideout
Perfect
She feels her heart alive
For once
Fast
Turns
And jumps
Faster
She hears herself screaming
In delight
For once
She forgets how to breathe
And how to think
She feels the beats bursting inside
Like the sparks of light she can sense around her
Or those of ancient stars shining in the sky above her
A moment
She dances on the edge of a mountain
The ocean below is raging
A moment
She dances around columns of wild fire
A moment
She dances on a foreign street in a foreign country
Under a foreign sky
Alone
A moment
She dances among bodies
Shaking with heat and the same song
Her blood runs wild
A thing inside her is ignited
Of passion
And lovely madness
She loves it
She loves something
For once.
She opens her eyes
The opposite wall greets her
With taunt and pity
Too soon
On the bed
Her body is limp
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 3 5
Literature
What they call depression.
Perhaps it's what they call depression,
the feeling of helplessness and uselessness,
the feeling that the world is a good and happy place for everyone around you,
everyone else, 
the feeling of being in the middle of all the action and not being able to reach out or touch, 
the feeling of life arriving and then passing by you like the flow of water near a rock on a bank,
never touching.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 7 7
Literature
Guilty of Existence.
There are moments in our lives when we miss a dear friend very much and yet are unable to be with them.
We want to see them but we don't want to see people other than ourselves.
We need them but the need to be alone is stronger.
We love them but would hate ourselves if we are there.
They are very perfect and our presence shall only cause distress, mess things up, stain their otherwise lovely atmosphere.
hate doing that.
And I have lots of these moments!
Too many!
It's hours and days and weeks, not merely moments.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 4 5
Literature
Nights lessons
It is fascinating what the nights teach us
From the very beginning
Until the very end
They teach us how to fall asleep
And create dreams
How to ponder on past days
And plan for the future
How to pray to God
And thank the sky
How to kiss
And make love
How to relive memories
And shed tears
How to give in to pain
And give up on life
For me
The nights taught me how to sob without a breath
And scream without a sound
How to still my heartbeats
And weep without tears
How to shiver under thick blankets and under bitter cold
How to hate my soul
And this indifferent world.
 
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 8 16
Literature
The Way Home
It is almost time for the sun to shine more
and for flowers to blossom.
The nights will get shorter
and yet
no less dark.
Trees will shed the snow off its branches
and leaves will grow.
Only I will be mourning the death of rain.
People will shed off layers of clothes too
embracing their skin
and loving the warmth of the days.
But I am missing the cold already
and still wrapping my skin
hating the sun
and cursing the sky.
December is long since gone.
And the way home is lost forever.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 4 9
Literature
She and the moon.
Bleed no more,
The moon said,
I will keep watch tonight
And my light, shining
Shall absorb the red off your wings.
Fear not, dear creature,

She said,
I will keep you company tonight
And my soul, fluttering
Shall dance to the silence of your night.

His light touched down.
She looked up.
The more she stared,
The more darkness left her,
Like feathers falling into the night.
And so she stared more,
At the moon and his rays of light,
And his solace.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 5 13
Literature
Smile everyday.
Smile everyday.
It is hard to do.
But when done,
It is the most delightful thing.
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 2 2
Literature
Time Off/The Awaited Time
Days pass rapidly.
I watch the clock's hands move and hear it tick.
I watch idly, as if I am mesmerized by an invisible and powerful enchantment, as if I am under an unbreakable spell.
Hours consume me mercilessly, turning into long days and nights.
I thought I awaited this time long ago and counted endlessly for its arrival.
I thought I knew my heart very well that I needn't a moment of consideration, or hesitation.
I thought life won't make me fight again against my reality, and have to struggle against my soul to keep my soul.
But here I am fighting this battle once more, with a blocked brain of mine, and a most scared self.
Here I am fighting time once more.
Why is it I face time always?
It has become my only companion over these years, the one I learned to fear and hate and mind no heed.
And here I am, praying once more
- did I pray in the first time? I can't quite remember that.
Both confirmation and negation are most dreadful to me; since, either way, the outcome is the same<
:iconAlene-Writer:Alene-Writer
:iconalene-writer:Alene-Writer 4 8

Favourites

Literature
curled around an ache
i stumbled inside and let myself
fall and twisted
blankets around my wrists
and heaved a sigh into the bed.
i am tired of staining myself
black and red;
i am weary of digging graves for bad days.
stars reflected in water
doubled
fill with light
pretending on a piano bench
nothing's out of tune
i'm used to avoiding the smell of smoke
and
yet
in a forest drawn to a flame
all things in reverse
:iconPatchworkLynx:PatchworkLynx
:iconpatchworklynx:PatchworkLynx 18 12
Literature
Irate Mess
I feel like I want to write,
but my brain is an exhausted mess of thoughts.
I had a few inspirational ideas,
but the ones that I grasped are the ones I forgot.
I'm now just fitting empty rhymes onto this page,
spitting metaphors for my inner rage.
The frustration at being unable to create,
it's like a crescendo of lust that I can't seem to sate.
It's left me insensate and irate,
I'm just typing every word that seems to enact this hate.
And I would love it if I could let this out while I conversate,
But lately, there doesn't seem to be anyone to whom I can relate.
So I end up writing these empty rhymes on a page...
:iconWordOfChen:WordOfChen
:iconwordofchen:WordOfChen 20 5
Literature
if jesus was here would he be smoking weed
and now we’re
      back to the baptistry
      back to climbing our columns
      back to standing on pedestals
burdened by facts we
carry our power-sources with us
      everywhere, paranoid, gripping our
  power with our phobia of
absence

and our skulls, our
bleached white bones are
      alight, and the fires keep
burning fires keep
burning fires keep us
      (high)
yearning for more
learning to forget
     and forgetting to learn
:iconand-speak:and-speak
:iconand-speak:and-speak 10 6
Literature
begin again
your proximity like a promise.
your touch like the first page
    being turned.
:iconEphemeralEloquence:EphemeralEloquence
:iconephemeraleloquence:EphemeralEloquence 8 4
Literature
Never Fades - Poem
Struck still
Flames ignite
Icy chill
Dark - cast out by light
A fire burns
And shadows fall
When will you return?
Oh, where have you gone?
Ablaze in the midst of midnight air
Yet the wind blows cold
When you aren't here
I set the flame upon the wick
And as I look out
My lamp is lit
Like a habit I hopelessly pretend
This is the day you'll be back again
The warmth I spark dies with each passing day...
But your memory... No... That never fades
:iconShimmeringDewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops
:iconshimmeringdewdrops:ShimmeringDewdrops 17 16
Literature
The Earth Won't Cry
When all the people on earth have breathed their last,
and the Earth has returned to what it once was in the past.
Bleached bones and skeletons will sink deep in the ground,
the sounds of birds and animals will take over the sound.
There will be tiny reminders buried deep in the earth,
the only clues as to what used to be valued as worth.
Diamonds and gold will be washed back into the seas,
and buildings will fall, destroyed by the roots of the trees.
New summers will come and new winters will pass,
and soon the roads and rails will be covered in grass.
Sea creatures wont worry as all the soil washes away,
and the rocks will be barren and that's how they will stay.
Evolution returns to create all that is new,
the sky no longer grey but a beautiful blue.
So don't cry for a world being destroyed by mankind,
this Earth will be fine, I think you will find.
:iconzilzalisme:zilzalisme
:iconzilzalisme:zilzalisme 5 4
Literature
Adding up
Soft
  Lips
Gentle
  Soul
Talented
  Heart
Curious
  Mind
:iconGhostOfTheEmptyGrave:GhostOfTheEmptyGrave
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:GhostOfTheEmptyGrave 12 10
Literature
Encounters
A chance walk through cobblestone streets, ancient buildings line the road.
An air of mystery fills my thoughts as the coastal fog sets inland.
The streets are empty, lit by the glow of gaslight casting hazy glares.
Little by little the remaining strands of passers-by slip away,
out of the night.
With not another soul in sight.
Or so it might have seemed.
A note, soft and melodic. Then another and on until I could make out the haunting
sound of a single violin. Singing it's song, calling out.
Calling me.
I felt myself becoming lost in its wanting as If in a dream. I felt no danger. No fear.
Only the longing call. The sense of being summoned. Seduced.
Entranced by what I did not know.
Or so I thought.
The tune slowly became a mix of thoughts, words forming in my mind.
Whispers on the air, drawing me in.
Becoming a voice, low and soft in my ear.
I thought I felt the breath of each word as he spoke. Smooth and slowly, caressing.
I felt an arm, slide around my waist from behind pressing my
:iconArsnic-Ainjel:Arsnic-Ainjel
:iconarsnic-ainjel:Arsnic-Ainjel 1 0
Literature
Doubt
Creeping up and spreading out
It devours your self-esteem
Like a parasite waiting to strike
It sucks the very life from you
Taking your confidence away
Your assurance becomes null
As you slide into denial’s grasp
:iconEvilScarrlett:EvilScarrlett
:iconevilscarrlett:EvilScarrlett 7 7
Literature
Sniper
From the silence between us,
I knew that you were broken.
Haunted by the pain,
I could hear in words unspoken.
The only way to feel alive,
With gunfire repentance,
Are the screams of murderers,
And a blood-splatter life sentance.
The nights are empty, lost to thought,
Plagued by life’s suspension.
Nightmares, dreams, or memories,
Beyond my comprehension.
If you would only let me in,
Behind the walls you’ve built,
I could try to sooth your soul,
And pacify your guilt.
I can’t undo what has been done,
Or absolve you of your sin,
But I can wait in silence here,
And dream of what might have been.
:iconScarletDeath7:ScarletDeath7
:iconscarletdeath7:ScarletDeath7 4 6
Literature
Not for All the Stars
Longer than is fair to say,
I've lost myself within your eyes,
And you don't even have a clue,
Not for all the stars lost in these skies.
:iconScarletDeath7:ScarletDeath7
:iconscarletdeath7:ScarletDeath7 5 5
Literature
A Lost Season
Tangled strands.
Scorching touch. Form the sun?
Or from something hotter?
One drop.
Two.
Slick from a prolonged realization.
Unstoppable.
Pacified by calculated intrusion.
Tightening the noose.
Burning crescendo.
Extinguished in gilded regret.
Grappling for the unfelt.
Missing the breath.
Unsatisfying absolution.
:iconScarletDeath7:ScarletDeath7
:iconscarletdeath7:ScarletDeath7 5 4
Mature content
Distance :iconscarletdeath7:ScarletDeath7 5 4
Literature
Teardrops Caught

silent teardrops fall,
it is my soul's call,
brushing blue-black wings aside
emptying my selfish pride,
one thing I remember well,
are the demons in my hell,
rattling chains of iron and brass,
i take a breath, these too shall pass,
without a sound I float aloft,
soothed by your words, gentle and soft,
my beloveds, we share the pain,
connected through the wind and rain,
our soul combined, heart as one,
rhyming together under the sun
umbrella to the teardrops' fall,
answering the silent call
blue black wings flutter, fly
you were meant to kiss the sky
:iconSerenWild:SerenWild
:iconserenwild:SerenWild 21 31
Literature
Precipice
So I spiral down
Taken by a god
Avenged with armies
And the god's mark
Within my soul
Newly the territory
Of the Lord of hosts.
The atmosphere
Was thick with angels
And heavenly charioteers.
A great hammer strike He made
And chased His foes
Into the places where they hide.
Now they creep
Out of the shadows
Knowing I will not always
Have armies at my back
And being a bit more careful
With God's daughter.
And I wail aloud
In my pain and suffering
Grateful for the great salvation
Of the sovereign Lord
But kinda wishing
He had healed me too.
On a precipice I sit,
Feet dangling over the abyss.
Knives and pills and sorrow and options
Or pie and coffee, maybe.
I sit on the precipice
Over the grand chasm
Where sharks wait to devour me
Leagues below.
I throw a rock down,
Don't hear it hit bottom.
Here is a push,
I just heard him say.
Free fall.
I will not be pushed into the abyss.
My choice or not at all.
I extend my wings
And begin to fly.
Oh songs I cannot sing
Oh winds whose breath I feel
Am
:iconSerenWild:SerenWild
:iconserenwild:SerenWild 11 24
Literature
broken mirrors
tell me: what is this chapter
of your life called, with slivers
and shivers; strike me
in reds and golds,
dress me, my lovely
(dress and undress
for none, but for a reason:
i see these images,
even with my eyes closed,
figments and flashes, never twice
shelter me, build me a mosaic
and remember the daze
when it crashes down:
to feel is a different story
you're a different story,
stories above, stories below,
too far out and too close)
crush,
collapse and seize,
tiny shards that never go,
cease and release,
relive,
revive,
regress.
:icontoxic--sunrise:toxic--sunrise
:icontoxic--sunrise:toxic--sunrise 5 2

Groups

Activity


I fell for the dark side
of you
Slowly
Throughout the years.

I do not know today
If I gave you a part of my heart
Or if you took it
Back then.

Back then
When we were growing
Simpler
And into the same shape.

We must have crossed paths
At some point
I didn't see
Or feel.

Adrift
We were then
Apart
We grew.

And still we grow
Only now
Things are simpler for you
And more complicated for me.

I do not envy you
Any more than I ever did
I do not discard your pain
Or value.

But today
The gloom around you faded
The sorrow in your eyes
Invisible.

I still feel the dark pull
Of your mind
Wavering
But never stronger for me.

It calls me
And this is where I stop
Every time
I wish I can tell you.

I think you realize
How much you affect me
That I care
And fear.

But do you realize
You are at once
Chaining me forever
And yelling at me to get out?

It took me years
I know what I want
You do
But you do not want to.

I do not blame you
Or hate you for it
Still
I wish.

I fell for the dark side
Of you
You fell out of it
And out of me.
I fell for the dark side of you.
Are my writings getting cheesy? I do not know. I have been going through a weird time and I just write what I feel.
I do not mind any critique.
Loading...

Fear
Alongside anticipation

I do not hurt
Believe me

Of life
Or death?

I exist in two bodies
And a leaping soul

Black
Black

Farewell my good will
I forgot my sanity

I forgot my name
But my sins are pure.

I Just realized I have 35 watchers. There are 35 people who chose to watch me. You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you to all. I love you HeartHug Llama Emoji-03 (Sparkles) [V1]  
The tiniest flicker of hope
Is gone

Tonight I know

The bright days to come
Will never come

The dream I dared have for a while
Evaporated
Like a mist
On an late morning would

He would never know
I did not plan on telling him

Still
He would never know

That my heart once called for him
And skipped many a beat

That a time existed
When I lived in hope
Just to see him

And a star shined one night
Waiting
For him to love me


But
Tonight I know

He will never be mine.


Hey you.

I miss you, you know.

I think of you every day.

I picture you beside me.

I want you.

And, I think I need you.

 

If only I can read what is inside your head

And see from behind your eyes.

 

If only I can lean in

And feel your heartbeats against me.

 

If only you would let me.

 

Why do I want something I never had?

Oh but,

Is this not an answer itself?

 

Hey you.

I am slowly losing my sanity.

I am slowly dying without you.

 

 

deviantID

Alene-Writer's Profile Picture
Alene-Writer

Artist | Hobbyist | Literature

“I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.”

― Charles Dickens



Welcome! 
Please enjoy whatever words I babble on and write down. I often do that, and it’s pretty magical to me! I hope you would feel the same.

Favorites, comments and watches are much appreciated.
:)

Comments


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:iconarsnic-ainjel:
Arsnic-Ainjel Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for :+fav: ... :heart: 
Reply
:iconalene-writer:
Alene-Writer Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome! <3
Reply
:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for your :+fav:, dearheart :heart:
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:iconalene-writer:
Alene-Writer Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconobsydiandreamer:
ObsydianDreamer Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2017  Student Writer
Thanks for the fave! :D
Reply
:iconalene-writer:
Alene-Writer Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconfouriv4:
FOURIV4 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2017  Student Writer
Thank you in return - unexpected. :)
Reply
:iconalene-writer:
Alene-Writer Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconroadkillkitten:
roadkillKitten Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2017
Thanks For The Llama Emote 
Reply
:iconalene-writer:
Alene-Writer Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :)
Reply
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